Accidentally In Love
by ziennajames
Summary: "I warned you..." "You still haven't told me for what." It's perfect revenge... Isn't that what I always longed for? HPDM
1. Bitter Sweet Revenge

**ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE**

New story! XD I know I should've first wrote on '7 Day, 7 Nights'… But I got a block and this fic is my way to get into HPxDM writing again. Also this was meant to be a one-shot… But it turned out quite long… (Like 15 pages… I guess… and I was only in the middle yet.) /sweatdrop/ So now it's 5 chapters long/jumps up and dances around, then sits down again/ Okay… /laughs nervously/ Lets get it started:D

_Disclaimer: No own, not even my pc is mine ;o; Poem is mine though. And the plot too. (Plot? What plot? LoL Just kidding dun worry ;) It has a point, you just gotta search real good :P gheghe)_

Btw, all Harry POV :)

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**Chapter 1**

**Bitter Sweet Revenge**

_Why are you addicted_

_You know you can't lie to yourself_

_Why don't you admit it_

'_Cause you know you can't deny it to yourself_

_Why are you addicted_

_When you know you can't, can't…_

Infatuated; addicted; totally, hopelessly in… No! Not that, not yet. Never. I'll never, ever, fall for _him_! From all people, it had to be _him_. Why?

What do I even see in him? Are it those beautiful silver eyes? His half-long blonde hair that keeps falling in those eyes and that he puts in place again in such a gracious manner? Those delicate hands with the fingers that work magic on everything they touch?

Everything… Even me… Ho! Stop right there, Potter! STOP! You see _nothing_ in _him_, nothing! Do you understand? Nothing. Now calm your heart down and breathe. Breathe and _stop thinking_.

"Breathe…" I muttered, and sighed. I looked at the piece of parchment in my hands and read what I'd just written down.

"Why are you addicted…"

Yes, why? Why him? Why me. I mean, as if this whole thing isn't bad enough already, _he_ just _had_ to mess it up again. He had to interfere. He's always there, hanging around me like a piranha around his soon-to-be prey, waiting for the first drop of blood as a sign to attack it. He's always there, making sure to hurt me so much that I'll begin bleeding.

He's always there, night and day. I can't look at him without getting a cold glare and seeing those hateful eyes. I can't hear him without hearing him hurt me, embarrass me, wound me, making me feel small and not worthy to live on the same ground as he and breathe the same air. He's playing the main part in my nightmares, but also in my dreams…

"No!"

"Ten points for talking, Mr Potter."

"But I didn't…"

"Another ten points for ignoring me, protesting and talking when not asked for."

Shit. Okay, so I said _one_ word and immediately that bloody damn git of a Snape had to take twenty points! I didn't even know I was talking!

I shot him a death glare and looked down at my parchment again, feeling three pairs of eyes on my head shooting death glares back. I looked up through my lashes to see from who. One: Snape, 'cause of my glare. I was already relieved he didn't take more points, really. Two: a really pissed looking Hermione. Okay… So I lost some bloody points, and? Three: Malfoy. How very predictable.

Sigh. Then why did it hurt so much?

"Why did you let him take points again?" Hermione almost yelled at me when Potions class was over and we walked to the Great Hall for lunch. I heard in her voice she was having a hard time controlling her temper. Weird…

"Well, you could've easily got them back, didn't you. You're Hogwarts brightest student remember, and good answers tend to get points."

"You know how Snape thinks about me. He'll only call me 'little Miss-know-it-all' and take some points from me too." She sighed.

"Then don't whine so much. You know I'm his 'beloved Potter' and that he'll take points at every opportunity." We walked into the Great Hall, Hermione searching for Ron and I, oh joy, just couldn't restrain my eyes from sliding over to the Slytherin table.

I looked at him, how he talked, laughed, smirked, ate, and was everything. They weren't calling him the Slytherin Prince for nothing, you could easily see he was the ruler and everyone would obey him, with or without any second thoughts.

I saw his silver eyes glimmering, his full red lips parting and moving while forming words, his hand stroking a loose strand of platinum blonde hair out of his eyes. I felt weird, light and high on a cloud, at the same moment wishing to fall down. I softly touched the piece of parchment in my pocket and knew I was doomed.

* * *

"Hey Potter, having a nightmare at Potions? I bet that if Snape hadn't said anything, you'd be screaming about your mommy." He smirked and looked down on me. It was the end of lunch and he just _had_ to say something again before walking out the Great Hall. Damn fucking Malfoy. 

I just ignored him and attempted on walking away, but a wide grinning Zabini tripped me, resulting in my clumsy fall at Malfoy's feet, but not after I had grabbed hold of his robes in a faint attempt to stabilize myself and preventing to fall. My only result was almost taking Malfoy with me.

He looked down at me, smirking wider. "So… I see you decided to obey the master and beg for forgiveness…" When I tried to stand up, he continued with, "Or has the famous Golden Boy finally fallen for the Slytherin Prince." He paused, probably for some dramatic effect. Bet he learned it from Snape. "Literally."

I those three seconds of silence I only wished that the ground would split open to swallow me, allowing me to hide deep inside her depths, and that I'd be gone. Far gone from _him_ and all those giggling girls and smirking Slytherins.

He'd embarrassed and hurt me again, as if the pain and shock of him practically finding out just wasn't enough for him. I just hoped he didn't notice my cheeks blushing crimson, and he never said anything about it. When he walked out of the Hall, everyone followed. I was alone again.

* * *

The rest of the day passed without any interesting events – at least for me. Hermione and Ron were arguing all day without stopping and I was beginning to think _why_ they ever got together in the first place, if all they did was fight anyway. But knowing them, they'd probably have a good reason, Hermione at least, for that relationship. I noticed them sneaking off together often enough, and was not so willing to find out what they were doing at such moments. 

As it was time for dinner we walked to the Hall, Hermione and Ron bickering about everything and nothing. I choose to just ignore them and stayed silent. BIG mistake.

Immediately when I entered the Great Hall, I saw Malfoy standing up from his 'throne', followed by his loyal followers: Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini and all his other little friends. He smirked, as always, but I just had the feeling it wasn't meaning anything nice for me… As always.

"Don't you have to kneel down for me," he drawled taunting. "_Potter_." He spat out my name like it was something horrible and disgusting.

I said nothing, not moving an inch. Beside me, Hermione and Ron hadn't stopped their bickering about every little thing they could possibly think of. Great to have you guys on my side, thanks. And make it up already! I wanted to scream.

"What is it, _Potter_?" Again he emphasised my name with disgust. "Are you deaf or mute? Both probably." I could see his pride about that 'witty remark' of him. Time to attack…

"None of both, Malfoy. But I think 'stupid' would suit you quite well."

He stepped closer, quickly crossing the few metres between us, till only a few inches were left. "I warn you, Potter," he hissed, obviously angry at me. "Don't do that again." He glared at me.

"Do what?" I looked as innocent as an angel and spoke to him with a sweet voice. Dangerously sweet.

"I warned you…" I saw his hand reaching for his wand, holding still and then retreating. He'd now balled it in a fist.

"You still haven't told me for what…" Oh God, don't let me blush, if this works I know what he feels and I'll ruin his pride before the eyes of _everyone_! It's perfect revenge… Isn't that what I always longed for?

"Well?" I inched a little closer, looking up in his eyes. He just _had_ to be two inches taller then me! I saw him hesitate, not knowing how to act, maybe because I was so close to him now. And I wasn't planning on backing away.

"Don't… talk to me… You're polluting my air." Nice try Malfoy, but I saw your smirk faint. As a piranha tasting blood I craved to attack my victim, now I'd gotten him where I wanted him, with his weak spot open and bare.

"Oh, am I? Then you wouldn't mind this anymore, right." I whispered in his ear, leaning in. He just stood frozen, probably expecting to be killed someway. "Afraid..?" I scooted even closer.

"No." His voice was nothing more then a hoarse whisper now.

"You should be…" The last words got lost when I tasted him as I claimed his mouth with force. He tasted sweet, like candy, and his scent was one that made me think of honey. He'd frozen all over, not reacting to my kiss but not rejecting it either. It surprised me I'd shocked him so much, just by a simple kiss on the lips. I hadn't even tried to French kiss him yet.

I felt him shiver against me, then opening his mouth enough to allow me to slip in. I began exploring, battling his tongue in a passionate way, feeling him do the same to me. I let my hands slide to his face, cupping and caressing it. His arms slid around my waist. Revenge, what revenge?

The next thing I felt was being raised from my feet and thrown on the table in a quite painful way. I groaned, and I felt Malfoy biting my tongue, _hard_. Then he retreated and looked down at me, smirking. "Why did I had to be afraid again, Potter?"

"Fuck you, Malfoy!"

"I'm sure _you_ would like…" He turned around and smirked even wider. "It seems I won our little bet, Blaise."

Perfect revenge you said? Revenge, what revenge… Damn fucking Malfoy!

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A/N: AUCH! That must've hurt… Mmm, you all agree Malfoy's a total prick right? I know I do…

Next chapter: disgusted Ron, stunned Hermione, and some weird things that are hidden by the dark…

Have I made you curious now? I hope so… :P REVIEW AND I'LL UPDATE:) promise!

_Edit: revising for grammar errors and typo's, will do the same for all the other chapters. Might throw in a slight re-write._


	2. Simply Dreaming

**ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE**

Has anyone heard that song from the Counting Crows? With the same title as this fic? XD The song's just _too_ happy:D I saw the video yesterday and that rabbit was kinda freaking me out… But what was really freaking me out was that the guy was dancing exactly the same way as I did. : EEEP!

Okay, thnx for all the (3! XD) great reviews :D LoL Those are SO helping me with typing out… X.x I have school now for already a few weeks and it's killing me! I mean it! All that homework… Too much! AHHH! But hey, the reviews revive me… ;) gheghe /hint hint/

_Disclaimer: No own, yada yada yada. You can't sue me/sticks out tongue/_

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**Chapter 2**

**Simply Dreaming

* * *

**

"Harry, why did you do that!" Ron asked me with big eyes when we were back in the boys dorm. Well, not as much asked me as practically screamed it… After the whole kissing-thing I'd ran away, and because there were so many people hanging around in the common room, I'd ran to bed.

"How should I know." I shrugged. I'd just cried, but didn't want anyone to see, not even Ron though he's my best friend. I was so pissed at myself for trying, for actually believing for those wonderful seconds that he loved – or at least _liked_, I'm not so picky – me back… He'd kissed me, but it was all a trap.

"How can't you?" Ron was still in shock from seeing me kiss Malfoy. But I couldn't tell him the reason, I couldn't!

"I don't know! Okay?" I felt a tear slip down my face.

"You… cry…"

"Thanks for stating the obvious Ron," I said bitterly.

"Should I get 'Mione here?" He looked pretty worried.

"You two will only start fighting again." I smiled faintly, thinking it over. "But maybe it's a good idea… I need to ask her something."

"Well okay…Then I'll go get her and you lay down and try to answer my question."

A few moments later Hermione came in, meanwhile calling out, "Oh Harry, how in heaven could you've done that!"

"Could you shut up and sit down," I snapped at her. She turned chalk white and stopped yelling. "Sorry… It's just… Please sit down?" I smiled, well, I tried. My voice sounded like I was begging her. "Why? Revenge. I thought I could take his pride away. Why more? Because I…" I paused. I'd never wanted to admit it to myself, but now I knew it for sure. My voice trembled when I said the words. "I'm in love with him."

Hermione fainted and Ron ran away to puke.

* * *

"How could you possibly be in love with that bloody damn git of a Malfoy!" Ron had yelled at me afterwards. "What the hell do you even see it that loser! Oh, wait, don't talk, I really don't want to know." He had screwed up his face in disgust, turning slightly green again.

"Ron, calm down," Hermione had said in a pleading voice. Then she had looked at me, accusingly. "This was wrong Harry, _wrong_. I hope you at least realise that."

"It's not wrong, it doesn't feels wrong! And I can't help it! You two are in love, you know you can't help it!"

"Harry… You're gay now, right?"

"Having a problem with that Ron?" I had glared at him.

"No…" he'd hastily answered. "It's just that I wondered what was with your crush on Cho back then."

"I don't know, why do you expect me to know it all!"

"Calm down! Both of you!" Hermione had interfered us. "Harry, I'm having a very hard time believing this. First you hate him, and then suddenly you're in love with him? It isn't making any sense! I mean, really, if it were any other guy I would just accept it and wish you the best of luck… But, Malfoy? Please be careful, I don't trust him."

"Me neither," Ron had mumbled.

"Well, thanks for the support! Geeh, you're both way to good for me," I'd said sarcastically. "I'm so glad you're both fully behind me!"

"Harry… I didn't mean it that way and I'm sure Ron didn't too. We _are_ behind you, I'm just asking you to think clearly." Hermione had produced a faint fake smile.

"Yeah, thanks. I'm going to sleep. 'Night guys."

"Goodnight, Harry." With that she'd stood up and left. Ron hadn't talked to me after that for the whole night.

* * *

When I woke up it was still dark, and I felt something or someone shaking me. I looked through my eyelashes and saw a shadow beside my bed. I heard it mutter and swear when I didn't seem to wake up.

"Damn it Potter! Wake up already, I don't want to get caught in here, stupid fucking Potter."

I opened my eyes with a sudden movement and I saw him back away quickly. Damn bloody Malfoy! "Well, you're nice for me, calling me names and waking me up at this hour." Then it finally hit me with full force. Malfoy! In my dorm! "What are you doing here anyway." I tried to sound casually, but wasn't sure it worked. "And how did you get in here, Malfoy?"

He seemed shocked that I knew who he was. When he'd recovered, he smirked and whispered, "You're not the only one with an Invisibility Cloak Potter. Now come!"

"Why?"

"Ask your questions later, get up and come with me."

"I don't trust you. Who says you ain't gonna hex or curse me now I'm still all sleepy."

"_Me!_ Now come, before you're giving me idea's!" He seemed afraid and hurried.

"Why did you bite me?" I sat up and pouted, invisible for him.

"What else could I do, you were annoying me! No one will ever try to make a fool out of me before the eyes of the whole school. Not even you will try that ever again. Understood."

"So. Whatever Malfoy, stop whining. Baby."

"Shut up." I knew he glared at me.

"Make me," I dared him. Wow, great job Potter, now he's going to hex you to mute you! Clever… Sigh, I should really stop arguing with myself. It's tiring and probably unhealthy too.

Instead of the hex I expected I felt his lips briefly touch my own in an almost soft way, then he jerked back as if burned, maybe shocked of his own actions. I went silent. My eyes were slowly adjusting to the dark now, and I could see him shooting me a death glare that clearly said 'no sound or I'll hex you.'

I slipped out from under my blankets as silently as I could, and simply followed him, hiding under the same cloak. I felt his warm body almost as close to me as when we'd kissed, and heard his breath quicken every time I touched him. I shivered when I felt his hot skin against mine, pushing my body up against the wall with his.

I enjoyed his warmth for a moment, wishing for the moment to stay forever. Then I heard footsteps. Filch. I could hardly hold in a groan from disappointment. It had been only an act out of self-protection. But what had I truly expected anyway?

As soon as the sound of the footsteps died away, Malfoy shifted and motioned for me to walk further and stay quiet. I followed him closely again, feeling disappointed and angry about missing out on his warmth. My heart had beaten so quick for that moment… And now it was so cold… Damn freaking Malfoy.

I couldn't see where we were going, neither could I find out where we were. I felt how we walked up some stairs, and some down. I just hoped Malfoy knew where he was heading… When he suddenly stopped, I bumped into him. Restraining myself from screaming and clinging to him, I backed away slowly. He seemed to think it was safe where we were now, because he pulled of the cloak.

"Lumos." In the soft light that shone from his wand tip, I saw that we were in a corridor I hadn't ever seen before. It was creepy to be lost in the castle at night, not even knowing on which floor I was. It was just pathetic; I was lost after more then six years living here at Hogwarts.

"How did you get in my room?"

He glared at me, face lit from below making him extra spooky. "I sneaked in with the prefects after their nightly round, and I know the password anyway. 'Slytherin sucks,' very original I must say. Better then 'Gryffindor pride' at least."

If he was going to play it this way… "Why did you sneak in."

Silence. Malfoy looked away. After a few second he muttered something I couldn't hear clearly.

"Why did you want me to come with you?" I blinked, thinking back at how he'd acted at my bed.

Silence again, with a few moments later a new not understandable answer.

"And what about the betting-thing with Zabini. What were you talking about?"

"None of your fucking business, Potter!" He answered abruptly and harsh, spitting out my name. In the faint light from his wand he now didn't only look scary, but also pretty pissed.

"If you hate me so much then why did I have to come with you? Are you planning on quietly murdering me and leaving my body there where no one can find it? Are you gonna hex me or curse me, and let me bleed here to dead? Will you torture me and enjoy my screams and tears? Not that I would cry or yell… But just tell me."

I paused. His face was getting paler with everything I said, every second. "Well?"

His pale form froze for a second, then he shoved me up against the wall. "No," he mumbled through clenched teeth. "I'm not going to torture, wound or hurt you. I'm not going to hex or curse you. _And I don't hate you_."

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A/N: YAY! CLIFFHANGER! XD LoL

Okay okay so I truly apologise for the late update… But I have school! (okay lame excuse isn't it… blegh) Homework is killing me… In a pretty harsh way! X.x And I have neopets:D LoL I'm so happy with those little creatures… They're so sweet… LoL I luv pets:D gheghe XD

Next chapter: WTF! The world's going down… 0.o They actually… talk without yelling or whatever… Oh hell did I spoiled it all now:P (gheghe sounds like a filler? Isn't the case…:P LoL)

Finally: the usual recipe:P LoL **REVIEW PLEASE!** XD


	3. Accidentally In Love

**ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE**

**Oh. My. God. **/starts screaming like crazy/ OMG OMG OMG THANK YOU FOR ALL THOSE WONDERFUL REVIEWS/bounces around the room with a overly happy grin on her face/

Okay, so now that's outta my system… /anime sweatdrop/ LoL Prepare for ultimate INSANITY/insert evil laughter here/ XD LoL sry… You know what? I actually should start doing homework right now… I should've already began by now… I actually should've had most of it finished yesterday already… XD But hell, I'm typing this chapter instead so be happy and grateful and worship me/an ambulance comes riding in my room, wacky nurses give me a ride to the hospital/ 0.o EEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP!

_Disclaimer: No own, yada yada yada. Only the evil plot twists are all mine/insert crazy laughter, continues in singsong voice/ "You can't sue me!" /sticks out tongue/ … /gets killed by readers/ X.x;;_

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**Chapter 3**

**Accidentally In Love

* * *

**

"_And I don't hate you_." The words resounded through my head.

* * *

I blinked a few times at those last words. "You…" I swallowed. "Don't?" Well, that's quite hard to believe…

"No," was the simple answer back. "I don't. Though I think Father would love to see me kill the Golden Boy-Who-Lived. And maybe then he would finally accept me, see me as his son and not as his personal slave." His tone was bitter.

"I'm sorry…"

"For what. It's not your fault he hates me. And all he's ever taught me is to hate you. And to hate mudbloods." His words were getting even more bitter. He really hated his father for this…

"He's in Azkaban now, right?"

"Yes. Again. Still."

"So, then you don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid." I could tell he was. He was scared to be here, scared for what would happen if his father would ever find out. I felt it.

"No reasons to be scared. And I don't think I have to fear you. If you wanted to hurt me I would be dead already." I felt him cringe when I said it. He wouldn't hurt me. Not now anyway.

His body still pushed against mine, crushing me against the wall. Our hearts were beating in unison in the same quick rhythm. When he finally noticed, he backed away and flushed. I hadn't even realised how close he was… Had been. Immediately I began craving for his warmth again. I missed it…

Silence.

The light was casting weak shadows around itself. I pretended to be very interested in the wall right in front of me. As I looked up, I saw him practically doing the same. Everything to just don't have to look in each others eyes…

Wait. This isn't Malfoy. Right? What happened? He's actually acting… shy? But Malfoy's don't act _shy_… Confusing, so confusing…

"Malfoy?" I suddenly asked. He jerked up his head.

"What."

"You didn't answer my questions…"

"What do I care about your stupid questions."

"Much." I looked up to face him. "Why did you want me to come here?"

He looked at me for a second and then looked away again, letting his eyes wander back to the wall.

"Draco…" I whispered softly.

"What? What!" He looked me straight in the eyes, his were glinting with fury. "What do you want me to say? What do you want from me? What!" His breathing became heavy when he started yelling at me.

"Draco…" I groaned. "Keep your voice down…"

"Why are you saying my first name? Why are you commanding me?" He suddenly calmed down and turned very cautious. "You. You're playing with me," he said accusingly. "You're torturing me and you love every moment of it. Just admit it. And you thought I would torture you… Which game are you playing?" He backed away from me, quickly.

"Draco… Please calm down…" I begged him. I took a step closer, only to find him backing further away. I wanted to touch his arm, but he stepped out of my reach so quickly he nearly tripped over his own feet. What the..?

"Be careful!"

"What do you care." He glared at me.

I froze as I heard the hatred in his voice. "Draco… If I've ever done anything… All I've done… I'm sorry…" I slowly circled around him, his eyes following me everywhere the whole time.

"You've done enough." The same bitter tone as earlier. Merlin, why does he _have_ to be this complicated? This just isn't the cool Malfoy I thought I knew… I could handle him quite fine, but this? This was like handling a scared kitten, more like it.

"You've embarrassed me enough."

"Are you mad 'cause I kissed you?"

"No." He gulped and his breathing became heavier. "I'm angry 'cause you kissed me in public."

My eyes widened. That just couldn't be true! "But you… bit me…" was my weak response. This was really too good to be true!

"I've already told you why that was. No one will ever try to make a fool out of me in public." He glared. "Not even you."

My eyes grew even bigger from disbelieve now. Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, oh Merlin! So… He didn't mind me kissing him… I think. And he's acting all shy and twitchy… Could he actually..? Oh my God, somebody please pinch me!

Or maybe not…

"You didn't…" I paused and tried to make my voice sound less cheerful. "You didn't mind me kissing you?"

He stayed silent, but moved his gaze from me to the wall again. In the weak light I saw a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Is that why you sneaked in? Because of the kiss?" Did that sounded _too_ hopeful?

He nodded his head curtly, barely able to see through the dark between us. I stepped forwards to him again, and this time he didn't back away like earlier. The only thing he did was looking down on me, searching for my eyes. As they met I stopped. There was still a metre between us.

When my green and his silver collided, I felt like drowning. His eyes were glimmering and shiny, like silvery pearls. Simply drowning… And praying for him to catch me.

Without me noticing he'd stepped closer to me, now only inches away. I felt his body warmth radiating off him, and longed for more… Neither of us said anything, maybe afraid to break the beautiful and fragile silence between us. We needed no words.

We both reached out for the other on the same moment, our hands catching each other in mid air, fingers entwining. Something in his eyes was different… Softer. I think. It was weird to see that this boy was so not like the one I'd though he was… I was almost shocked he'd fooled me with that mask of his for so long. When we stood there, time stood still. Just as we, unable to move. Or just afraid to let the moment die away.

He was the first to make a move by pulling me closer, till our faces were barelytwo inches apart. Then he looked deep in my eyes, searching for any sign of fear.

"I'm dangerous."

"I know."

"I could tell you lies and give you to the Dark Lord."

"You wouldn't tell me your plans then."

"Are you afraid?"

"No, I'm with you."

His eyes lit up and a smile crept his way over his face. I'd never actually seen him _smile _before… Only smirk, or at the highest, grin. "Being the brave little Gryffindor, aren't we. Not even afraid to look death straight in the eyes."

"You're not death."

"You're right. But I could lead to yours."

"But you wouldn't." I kept staring in his eyes all time.

"No." His voice softened. "I wouldn't."

A comfortable silence followed after that, when he pulled me in his arms, letting our hands still entwined like they had been the whole time. I leaned into his touch, which was soft and tender and quite not-Malfoy-like, but who was I to complain, right? You wouldn't hear me, nu-uh. Feeling his chest rise and fall with his breathing against mine was way too comforting. I lay my head on his shoulder.

We just stood there, embracing each other – well, I practically clung to him actually. The silence was nice and peaceful, till I was stupid enough to break it.

"Draco. Can I trust you?" I felt him taking a deep breath.

"No." There goes peace…

He pulled me even closer. "No. You can't." I only sighed.

"Does it hurt you?"

Vicious little thing aren't you, Draco… Who talked about torturing again? "No."

"Good." He paused. "I would never tell you lies, Potter. I'll be honest to you, always. I'm sick of lying. But this doesn't means I tell you everything. Or can. But I won't lie."

I looked up in his eyes. I couldn't read them, though I tried. After a few moments he looked away. "Thank you," I whispered, and lay my head on his shoulder again. His only reaction was laying his head on mine.

After what seemed to be centuries of our hearts beating in the same crazy rhythm I spoke up again. His body was perfect and his warmth wonderful, but they were making me drowsy. It didn't felt right to break the silence, but…

"Draco?" I whispered softly. "I need to sleep…" I stifled a yawn in his chest.

"Do you want me to bring you back to your room?" Our right hands were still entwined, his left was stroking my hair.

"Only if you can come with me…"

"I can't."

"I don't want to let you go…" I yawned again.

"You don't have to." Again a small smile tugged at his lips. "Room of Requirement," we said at the same moment.

* * *

_A/N: Someone ordered smut? LoL It's the next morning btw ;)

* * *

_

I woke up with a pair of strong arms around me. A warm fuzzy feeling was spreading from my stomach throughout my entire being when I realised whose arms that were. I turned around to find a sleeping Draco I was cuddling against, the blonde hair framing his face. So beautiful…

I kissed him and inhaled his scent, noticing it was still as sweet as the day before. Honey-like. His eyelids moved and fluttered open, showing a bright silver and releasing a light and fire of passion.

"G'mornin' sleepyhead," I said teasingly.

"Morning Potter." He growled and sat up.

"That wasn't what you called me last night…"

"Oh, shut up and kiss me, _Harry_," he groaned, emphasing my name.

"Good boy," I grinned. Then I let my lips collide with his, melting together. I opened them and we battled for dominance, slowly letting it turn into a dance, wild and passionate. He still tasted like sweet candy, I noticed. I felt his hands sliding over my bare chest, drawing circles with his fingertips.

I moaned into his mouth. "You're so mine."

"Dream on, Golden Boy…" I felt how he smirked against my lips, then let go of them and taking his trail of kisses with him over my chest. He elicited more moans from me with that, every kiss of him left a tingling cold spot when his lips left my skin. I didn't really want them to leave, but they had to if they wanted to go down…

His tongue circled around my bellybutton, his hands stroking the insides of my tights slowly. Arching my back, moving my hips up to his touch I pulled him in a quick kiss again. So sweet… Taking his trail further down again he softly bit one of my nipples before continuing, before leaving his tease and just going down.

"Why did you bit me again." My breathing was heavy. He looked up for a moment, widely grinning.

"'Cause you're such a tease."

"You… ahh!" My answer pretty much got lost in a loud moan when his hands slipped in my boxers, briefly touching a certain body part and easily awaking it. He pulled them down, stroking my now absolute hardened length. I moved my whole body up to his touch as he kissed it and took it in his mouth. I remember him laying on my lower-body, sucking and licking and letting his hands join his tongue, and that I was screaming his name over and over again. I came in his mouth, my hands tangled in his hair.

After that he crawled up and put his arms around me. His heart was beating the same overly crazy rhythm as mine, way too quickly.

"Love you, Draco…" I murmured, cuddling up against him. He just stayed silent and stroked my hair softly.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A/N: Did I promise "talking without yelling?" Really? I must've forgotten… ;) gheghe Tsk tsk tsk /grins/

And OMG I'm so sorry for the delay! I got 'toetsweek' at school last week, which just means we get popquizes (right term?) all day long all week for all classes I take X.x Sound pretty creepy eh? It is… And hard too! It was horrible/gets visions of long nights of studying just living on coffee/ EEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP/wacky nurses strike again/ 0.o

_TheHomicidalManiac777__: me too, but I love to write them though ;P_

_Jewely__: longer? 0.o it already takes me enough time to type THIS out…You prolly noticed that now… X.x_

_fishnetfairy__: LoL nope, maybe later :) :P_

_Mara202__: you know how bad I am at grammar… I can't spell X.x it's my big weak point in the dream of becoming a real writer… /dies/ X.x_

_PippinsMyHobbit__: READ IT THEN! XD LoL please?_

_Flammy__: 0.o what! LoL xD /stares back/_

_Kannah: er… /anime sweatdrop/ thank you/grins sheepishly/ gheghe… soz… /runs away/_

Everyone that reviewed, thank you again! It's all about the motivation ;) LoL /hands out cookies/ Please keep reading though I'm really late with updating… /anime sweatdrop/ … /gets on knees and begs you, clings to your leg when you try to walk away/

TA TU TA TU TA TUUUUUUUU/1 word : wacky nurse in green ambulance with straightjacket 0.o/

**Hated it? Loved it? Tell me! See that lil button over there? Yes, the 1 below. It says 'go'. Now click on that… Good! Now send me a review and you get a box of cookies in return!** _(now from $13.- to only $5.-! it's an offer you simply can't refuse…)_ xP

Next chapter: get ready for some surprises… :x


	4. Damn Bloody Malfoy

**ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE**

I'm late… AGAIN… I know, SUE ME! xD LoL You can't can you? gheghe But hey, okay this time I got a real EXCUSE. /gets attacked by readers/ OUCH/rubs very sour head hit by various rotten fruits/ No, I mean it! Internet was acting all shitty on me! I couldn't go anywhere! It was just… well… gone. Yeah. Stupid ne? That's what I thought… And worse, it's vacation… (date of typing: 12 oktober '04… Vacation should be a good thing right? But now I think of it as my only way to update… AND my only way to save my poor neopets from dying from hunger… :'( /cries/ wheeeeeeh Tora, Gingin, Ash, hold on!) Well, look at the bright side… I typed out A LOT of chapters, so I finished this story and began a next (SB/RL romance/humor, I'm now already writing on chapter 4… X.x Wow) I was planning. Not that there were so much chapters left for this one… I'm sad to say this is almost the last. The story goes no further then chapter 5… But if you review a lot I COULD consider writing further… /wink wink hint hint/ Get it? Okay enough of my random rambling and complaining, on with the story/gets killed by readers/ I TOLD YOU THAT HURTS! X.x

_Disclaimer: No own, yada yada yada. Only the evil plot twists are all mine/insert crazy laughter, continues in singsong voice/ "You can't sue me!" /sticks out tongue/_

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 4**

**Damn Bloody Malfoy

* * *

**

I must've fallen asleep, because Draco woke me up when he was fully clothed already.

"Harry… We have classes, little one…"

"Why are you calling me 'little one'?" I groaned.

"'Cause you're 2 inches smaller than me, you dickhead." He playfully hit me on the head. "Now get dressed, or else you'll be late for breakfast."

I stood up from the bed and dressed quickly, all ready to walk with him to the Hall. At least, that was what I wanted. When I attempted to walk out of the room by his side, he stopped me.

"I know they won't see us directly, but it's still better to go our separate ways and meet later again. We wouldn't want them coming between us, right?" His tone was soft and sweet, like he actually cared.

"No…" I said and paused, thinking. "But they already all saw me kissing you yesterday, right? So they'll be gossiping already anyway…"

"And I bit you then. I got them all to believe there was nothing between us, now don't ruin that. What about we first go to our houses and then from there to the Hall?" He looked at me questioning.

"Okay… Seems fair…" I gave in. He's just too irresistible.

"See you later, Harry." Then he walked away, out of the room, leaving me on my own. And all I did was musing about what exactly had happened the last twenty-four hours.

After a few minutes, I thought it safe enough to come out of my hiding. When I walked into the corridors no one was around, though when heading to the Gryffindor tower there were more people. Walking up the stairs to get some clean clothes in my dorm, Hermione stopped me.

"Where were you?" She looked like a time bomb, ready to blow up. "Harry, answer me!"

"Geez, stop the clock, no need to be so ticked off! All you need to know it that I wasn't here." I looked at her cautiously. "How do you know anyway."

"From Ron. He couldn't find you." She paused. "You where with Malfoy, right?"

"And."

"Nothing… Be careful. Please." She took my hand and squeezed it lightly, her eyes begging me. She looked so worried…

I just smiled. "I will. Don't worry 'Mione, he's not so bad… Behind that cold mask he's a great guy. Let me try, please, I love him… Just let me try."

"I hope you're right Harry, I just hope you're right… And don't forget I'm always there for you."

"After all those years, how could I doubt you." She smiled at me, her eyes brightening up. A 'thanks' was all written over her face. "Come, breakfast is waiting."

"I'm sorry, I'm still waiting for Ron. I'll see you there if you don't want to wait." I just nodded and walked away. I had the feeling that facing Ron at the moment wouldn't be a wise choice. Especially after him finding out soon enough with who and where I was last night… Poor, poor Ron. Maybe I should let him know before breakfast though. So he can't throw up… Again.

I took my usual route on my way to the Great Hall, the route I always used when I wanted to avoid the crowds. It was slightly longer then the normal, but that didn't really matter to me. Today, the extra walking was quite welcome anyway, and not bothering me at all. It felt good to have some time alone to think everything over… Things always tend to go rather quick.

Suddenly I heard voices coming from around the corner. Voices I knew. I slowly tiptoed towards it, not really intending on listening until I heard my own name. As I glanced around the corner I saw a horrifying sight.

"I won the bet Blaise. What was it you said to me again? Oh yeah, a nice and friendly 'Go fuck Potter' wasn't it?"

Blaise Zabini muttered something understandable under his breath.

"Well I can clearly remember you saying 'First screw Potter and then you can have me'," the other voice continued.

"Shut up, Draco! I didn't mean it, I wasn't serious!"

"Oh but I was… Trust me, I still am."

I couldn't listen anymore. _MY _Draco, with that Blaise guy? How _COULD_ he! How could he _DO_ this to me! So I was nothing more then a_ bet_ to get _ZABINI_? How could I even _THINK_ he cared about _me_… I should've known better, he's a _MALFOY_ for Merlin's sake! How could I be this stupid?

I wanted to run away, but my legs just refused. I gave up running and tiptoed my way out of the damn place. I couldn't believe he _tricked_ me… _Used_ me… After two minutes of walking my legs refused any further movement and I collapsed on the floor, exhausted and crying. Damn bloody Malfoy!

* * *

"Harry? Harry? Hey, what's wrong man?" Ron looked down at me, worried. And he hadn't even seen the tearstains yet… Hermione stood next to him, her thoughts were pretty clear to me.

"What's wrong, Harry?" She kneeled down and I looked up. I saw her shock at my tears, tears Ron still hadn't noticed yet.

"Ron, can you go to the dorm to get his books? He can't risk being late for his first class. I'll stay with him." Ron nodded and ran away.

"Is it..?" she asked when he was out of sight. I only nodded and started crying again.

"Malfoy," she stated. "I'm sorry Harry… But sometimes you're so naïve… Malfoy will always be Malfoy." She sat down next to me. "What happened?"

I needed to stop crying to answer, to swallow my tears. Did he hurt me this much? Was this affecting me so badly? I can't even remember the last time I cried… Life's so unfair!

"I…" I swallowed. "I saw him talking to Zabini." Everything came back, all the things he'd said. I could hear his voice, saying he'd used me… "They talked about a bet." Hermione looked at me oddly.

"A bet? You mean… The one Malfoy talked about to Zabini in the Great Hall yesterday?" I nodded.

"I think so… I didn't mean to listen, but I heard my name." I paused. "'I won the bet Blaise. What was it you said to me again? Oh yeah, a nice and friendly 'Go fuck Potter' wasn't it? I can clearly remember you saying 'First screw Potter and then you can have me''," I repeated toneless. Hermione just looked at me with big eyes.

"Malfoy said that?"

"Yes."

"And Zabini?"

"He said he was joking back then." I sighed. "But Draco seemed pretty serious though…"

"Why do you still call him that after all this? He's not worth it!"

"It's still his name," was my toneless reply. Damn bloody Malfoy.

* * *

I entered the Great Hall with Hermione and Ron by my side. When I came in, Draco… Correction: Malfoy, stood up and walked my way immediately. He shot a taunting to Ron and Hermione, then focused his attention on me.

"We have to talk, Potter. Alone." He glared again.

"Why? There's nothing Harry would be ashamed of if we heard. Spill it, Malfoy." Thank you Hermione, thank you so much!

"Potter? Private, now." He just ignored her and continued talking to me.

"No. Why should I."

"Don't act so stubborn now, Potter… Remember what I told you before? Come on, be nice and play my game."

"Shut up Malfoy. Harry isn't willing to talk to bloody damn ferrets like you," Ron spat. His only answer was a death glare from Malfoy.

"Can't remember asking _you_ anything Weasel." He rolled his eyes. "C'mon Potter." He grabbed hold of my arm and tried to pull me with him, failing miserably because I refused to move.

"I don't remember what we talked about earlier. And if you have anything to say to me, say it here where my friends can hear you." I just looked him in the eyes.

"Don't you trust me?"

"No. You told me not to." My voice was cold and hard. I watched the smirk he'd been wearing the whole time slowly disappear, his face fell. The mask broke. "Spill it, what do you want from me, _Malfoy_." He cringed.

"Harry… Don't do this to me…"

"Stop the act, I won't play your games. I can't believe I thought you'd actually changed," I said bitterly. Thinking he actually cared. That it mattered to him. I mattered to him. How could I be that mistaken. Once a Malfoy, always a Malfoy. I saw the confusion building up in his eyes; I must admit he really did have acting skills.

"I've overheard you talking," I continued. "To Zabini. Blaise Zabini, isn't it? Nice bet I must say. I bet you already groped and raped him right then and there." I paused, ignoring his looks of pain. And was that sorrow?

"You used me. I can't believe you used me… You made _love_ to me just to get Zabini! I can't believe you! I would've never thought someone could sink so low, not even a Malfoy." His eyes were shocked and angry, but under that shield he didn't knew what to do. I knew it. I felt it.

"You haven't heard it all…" was his weak defence. He really did looked helpless, hopeless… I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. I loved him so much… And then _this_!

"I'm glad. I don't need to hear the details, thank you." All the time I kept my eyes on his, looking straight in them, through them even. He'd looked away several times though. He knows that eyes can't lie, no matter how hard you try to shield them. Emotions always shine through.

He looked away again from my gaze, and I allowed my eyes to wander around the Great Hall. It was late, but there were still enough students eating breakfast. Well, were. Now all of them, including the professors, were looking at us with disbelief. It must've been an odd sight, a Malfoy defending himself against Harry Potter and Co.

"You aren't giving me a chance to explain!"

"Explain what. It's pretty obvious to see you used me. And that you're a total prick. I must've been so blind for a while…"

"Then check your glasses." He smirked, probably very relieved to have a chance to say a witty little remark and re-finding his composure towards our fateful watchers. Malfoy's and their foolish pride issues.

"All I needed to do was open my eyes." My voice was icy, freezing, bitter, angry, poisoned, dangerous, everything I felt. "Thank you for opening them, Malfoy. And I have to admit, you never lied to me. You haven't told me everything and I can't trust you. Just as you predicted. You would do good as the new Divination teacher after graduation."

He paled at my words, mouth almost hanging open.

I turned him and our 'public' my back, silently laughing inside as I walked away without even having eaten anything. But my face was soon wet and tearstained. Damn bloody Malfoy.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Urgh sneaky sneaky SNEAKY Draco… HATE HATE HATE! Oh Harry what am I putting you through? xD gheghe /author suddenly grows lil devil-like horns on her head/ Anyone heard of the game Fable? I wish I could play it… But sadly I dun own a X-Box… Only a shitty PC. DAMN. ;o;

Coz of the earlier said problems with my dear internet, I can't respond to any reviews now… /cries unhappily/ I remember getting MANY, and I THANK YOU ALL for that. /gets really bouncy/ thank you thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU /bounces through the room, hits a table and falls over/muffled voice: "thank you thank you thank you"/

ANYWAY… /anime sweatdrop/ Thank you all for the lovely reviews and KEEP THEM COMING:D Just click on the same lil button you did last time… Yes, the one with 'go' on it… :D Great job! Now **REVIEW! **/hands out cookies/ Choco-chip xD My fav!

Next chapter: shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooort………… That's prolly all I can say about it X.x Just bear with me and review anyway if you want a chapter 6 :P


	5. You Lost Me

**ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE**

Wow, last chapter! /looks sad/ Yeah, I'm gonna miss it to... ;o; I really had fun writing this. I actually think this is my most in chara fic till now. I'm thinking about writing further on this fic... But I don't really know what. /plotbunnies run around and hop on authors feet/ EEEEEEPPP!!!

YAY! Review respond time! xD My internet is working again (well I use it on school and it's pretty much illegal but hey who cares?) and I fed my neopets, checked my DA page and did my homework... Hey, that last thing shouldn't be there 0.o But anyway:

Mara202: gheghe you're SO RIGHT! LoL and yeah, he's EVIL!!! /evil laughrer on background/ 0.o whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

SilentSleepingInTheCold: where? 0.o but thanks I'll remember it. English isn't my native language... eheh /anime sweatdrop/

ForgivenLiar: no lie? :P wow from where? US? O.O

Ryan's-heart's-desire: I'll be nice and leave that part to your imagination... LoL

Cherry0214: WOW. SLOW DOWN GIRL! O.O /glomps you/

Picc136: gheghe how could that be? LoL thanks anyway :P

Ambellina: glad my sucky writing kept you busy for at least a few minutes :P :D

maddie: LoL stop the freaking! XD

yafit: YOUR Harry? MY Harry! :P oky so I'm acting childish, and?! LoL well read on and find out...

Nyoka Li: /grins/ I hoped it was yeah, it was for me anyway... 0.o

**AND FOR ALL MY OTHER REVIEWERS: THANK YOU!!! **

And erm... Sorry for the crappy lay-out in this chapter. It's mostly lyrics and stuff, more then just the story. So I decided to upload it in poetry-thing. But it didn't worked. So the upload is like... CRAP. X.x And sorry it's so short... blegh. And so depressed. This was originally the ending, but reviews can make me change my mind you know... :P /hint hint/ You all made me think that this ending wouldn't be good enough anyway... ;o; /bursts out in tears/ MOMMY!!!

Before I forget... COOKIES!!!! xD /gives cookies to all her reviewers & dances/

_Disclaimer: No own, yada yada yada. You should know that by now, ne? The first lyric is from Joss Stone ('You Had Me' from the 'Mind, Body & Soul' album, made a few changes...), the rest is MINE!!! /laughs insanely/_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**You Lost Me**

I read what I'd just written down.

_You had me, you lost me_

_You've wasted, you cost me_

_I don't want you here messing with my mind_

_I've realised in time_

_That my eyes are not blind_

_I've seen it all before_

_I'm taking back my life_

_You tried to trade on my naiveté_

_But things you do and say embarrass me_

_See, once upon a time I was your fool_

_But the one I leave behind is you_

_You had me, you lost me_

_You've wasted, you cost me_

_I don't want you here messing with my mind_

Yes, he'd lost me. I'd just burned the other piece of parchment after reading it over one last time. It's time to get over him. Malfoy-rehab. Only the very idea of it is ridiculous enough to work.

I refused to look at him, see him when he passed me. I refused to hear him, talk to him. Not even in Potions class where that sadistic git of a Snape paired us up, as always. I refused to touch him, not even when he gave me the chance to beat him up without him fighting back. At day I just refused to acknowledge him, believe he's alive.

But at night he's torturing my dreams with memories long forgotten, involving us both. I refuse to remember them. He's not real. He's a living nightmare, nothing more, nothing less. A demon, a boogieman, a fairytale. Not existing, nothing more, nothing less. I just wanted to forget. I just want to forget. But I can't.

He keeps following me, haunting me. Everywhere I go I see him, real or just in my head. He's always there. He entered my life and refuses to get out, no matter how hard I try. But still, how hard do I try? Do I really want him to go? I caught myself dreaming and longing so many times, I begin to doubt it all... What do I still feel for him? Noticing I still call him Draco sometimes should say enough.

I just can't believe I'm still thinking of him that much. Was he that important to me? Did he hurt me so badly? He broke my heart, did he broke me too?

I'm strong. I like to believe that I'm strong, so much stronger than he. That I could easily handle this, forget him, get over and move on. But I'm weak and I can't. And every time I see him he forces me to see that. Weak little Harry, heartbroken and lovesick like a Hufflepuff, because of no other reason than the famous playboy Draco Malfoy. How pathetic.

I just found a partially burned piece of parchment. I looked at it and the words resounded through my head again.

_Why are you addicted_

_You know you can't lie to yourself_

_Why don't you admit it_

_Coz you know you can't deny it to yourself_

Six months ago I threw it in the fire. But it survived and here it is, confronting me with everything. Because I know I can't, can't... But still I seem to be. Still am.

I can't lie, I can't deny, I can't hide. It's there and it's haunting me.

I'll be glad when I finally graduate. I'm looking forward to it, for it's only a few weeks from now. I better get my attention on my N.E.W.T.'s next week, before I fail them all. I'll be glad when I don't have to see him every day again. Maybe then things will get better. Maybe someday I'm finally able to say those words...

"I'm over you Draco Malfoy, you lost me."

_

* * *

_

_Tears shed_

_Blood flown_

_Eyes wide open_

_Mind closed_

_No entrance allowed_

_Go away_

_Leave me behind_

_We aren't from the same kind_

_You're dangerous_

_This isn't right_

_But don't be scared_

_Refuse to see fright_

_We were never meant to be_

_Take me away_

_And leave me behind_

_You're not my kind_

_So many differences_

_Between you and me_

_Two different persons_

_Yet still I refuse to see_

_Never meant to be_

_Not the same kind_

_Guess my eyes have been forever blind_

_Now I've opened up and see_

_Leave me behind_

_We were never meant to be..._

(--- 'Never Meant To Be', written by me. ---)

* * *

So this is it... The end. :( /cries her eyeballs out/ ;o; /gets all depressed/

Well... Review... Press the little 'go' button... ;o; And tell me if you want me to continue... ;o; Please.

And thank you all for the wonderful reviews I got and those I'll still get... Thank you. /hands out cookies to everyone/ Want one? Or a muffin? I got muffins too! /hands out choco-muffins/ ;o;

And don't forget... I may decide to continue writing :P

Btw... I have another story up, SBRL. You might want to check it out /hint hint/ Yes, shameless self-promotion, but why not? :D


	6. Inhuman Actions

**ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE**

WOW! All those reviews! I was already planning to continue… But now I really put some time in it. And damn, I needed it… Had a nice block on this fic till I decided that I would change POV… Sorry for the delay. So yeah, no more Harry POV anymore, but Draco POV. Hope this will be enough to clear things up. I was first planning on writing what happened after those 6 months in Harry's POV… But now you'll get Draco who rants on about what happened _in_ those 6 months. Isn't that fun? xP So this just directly continues after chapter 4. /grin/ Enjoy!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 6**

**Inhuman Actions**

"Did you hear it?"

"Yes! Oh my goodness I can't believe it! It's too bad though, he had the reputation of shagging every girl in sight."

"Yes, _had_!" The two girls broke out in a fit of giggles.

'Yes, had,' I thought bitterly. How'd come again that I've ruined that precious reputation? Why did I do it? _Why_ I _wanted_ it? "Yes Draco, tell me," I repeated my thoughts. "Just tell me. If you would only know…"

But I don't. I have no fucking idea about what even happened. One moment I made a stupid bet with that asshole Zabini, next moment Potter was French kissing me. And bad too! He'd slammed his teeth against mine with that sudden movement of his. Can't say I disliked it though. Was that where it began?

The stupid git, trying to kiss me before the eyes of everyone in the entire school, including teachers. Trying to embarrass me. Well, he succeeded. Damn my traitorous body that kissed him back! But I must admit, it was quite Slytherin of him. Never thought he actually had it in him, the guts. Well, being brave _is_ one of those stupid Gryffindork traits. Same with loyalty. Bloody Weasel and mudblood.

_Are you jealous?_

No! I bet he was acting like the victim towards them. Making me look like the bastard. Stupid asshole. Couldn't even tell I was drunk that night. Like now. I wonder what would've happened if I'd stayed sober…

But I couldn't. I couldn't! I just had bloody _sex_ with him damnit! And worse: my own fucking body decided to be traitorous again. To act _gay_ to put it bluntly.

_Me_. _Gay_. Can you believe it? And only 'cause I fucked the Potter-boy. The worse fucking mistake I could've ever make.

Or the best.

No.

But I just don't know… All I know is that I feel attracted to him. Really attracted. Something I'd never felt before. Something I couldn't understand.

Sure, they told me what 'love' was. The definition of it. Not that it would feel _this_ way. And not that it was even possible for anyone to 'love' their bloody archenemy! They never warned me. My parents want me to marry that bitch Parkinson for Salazar's sake! I wonder how they would react if I told them…

Imagine: my father, my mother and me in the same room. Okay, so that's hard enough already isn't it? Now…

Me: Father?

Father: Hmn?

Me: I'm gay.

Father: Yeah son, whatev… WHAT?!

Mother: That's so cuuuute! Do you have a boyfriend? Who is it? Are you going to bring him home? Tomorrow I'll take you out shopping with me!

Me: …No… But I think I like Harry Potter…

Mother: Do I know him? Bring him home dear!

Father: Draco, you _do_ realise that our Lord has to know this, right? Maybe you could even hand him over…

Mother: Lucius! That's no way to treat the boyfriend of your son!

Sigh, get the picture? Maybe it's a little out of character… But for my own sake I at least wanted to forget the rant about being the Malfoy heir and not being able to produce any other Malfoys… Not to mention the part 'even though you THINK you're gay and hate Parkinson you'll still marry her anyway'. And somewhere I still hope my mother isn't _that_ dense. Though it would be nice if she actually cared about me. A bit. That's all I need. Just that they accept…

I think I'm doomed.

I'm honestly thinking about denial, because now the whole school already knows just not telling failed as an option. It'll probably be the biggest news in the Daily Prophet tomorrow I guess. 'BOY-WHO-LIVED IN LOVE WITH AND HEARTBROKEN BY MALFOY HEIR', or 'YOUNGEST MALFOY OFFSPRING SEDUCED HARRY POTTER'. I can see the headlines printed out already, and I'm not ready to decide which is worse at this moment. There goes my little talk to my parents, they'll read it earlier then I can tell it. Probably get some damn howler about it, as if this all isn't embarrassing enough! I'm a total disgrace to the name of Malfoy.

And guess what? I couldn't care less.

It's just weird. That two words, a stupid joke, could possibly end up this way. '"Embarrass Potter in the worse way you can think of"'.

Stupid Zabini, the arse. He said I couldn't do it. That I was turning soft on Potter in my acting. And I, and my freaking ego, just had to prove I wasn't. I was the Slytherin Ice prince, I could do everything, they all looked up to me, made me their leader. They didn't see I just didn't cared. Still don't.

"There he is!"

"O my God, I can't believe it!"

"How could he?!"

I hear them whisper behind my back, the whole school. I wandered through the hallways, trying to avoid contact and just get lost. I knew that what I'd done to him was bad enough already.

'"Make him suffer Draco. You're not turning weak on him, are you? You can't possibly harbour feelings other than hate towards the Gryffindork, right Malfoy? You're not beginning to _feel_ anything for him, _do you Malfoy_?"'

I wonder why I listened. Looking back it's so easy to say what I should and what I shouldn't have done. Should: make Potter suffer less, maybe even make him happy. Shouldn't: listen to other Slytherins who are daring you on delving your own grave and then get lost when your supposed to be archenemy is laying in the same bed as you. Never let your dick guide you Draco, remember that for future use. Never again.

But Merlin, he was sexy. The things he did, how he walked to the bed, stripped down his clothing and crawled towards me, then started whispering those things in my ear… I wanted him right then, right there and hell, I was lucky enough to get him! He was just so… So irresistible with that sweet innocence of him, and that body with the tensing muscles so desirable…

I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I can't stop. Believe me, I _know_ how _wrong_ this is, all was. I _know_ it shouldn't have happened. But all I can seem to think about is last night. How quick things went… _How_ things went… And how _right_ they seemed at the moment. It's all so surreal.

I'm losing it, and I'm very well aware of that fact. I'm slowly drowning in green water, great depths that allow you to keep falling 'till eternity. And no matter how I hate to admit it, Zabini was right. Is right. Potter is making me soft. Or maybe I'm just allowing him to make me soft.

"Look at the guy, it's pathetic."

"Yeah, playing with someone's heart like that."

Oh why can't you all just stop?! Stop whispering behind my back while I can still hear! Stop it! Just… No, I'm a Malfoy, Malfoys do not break down. Never. But maybe, what if I… No. But I should've run after him when he left the Hall.

Merlin, I hate myself for this. Why can't he see it's all just a bet?! The 'talk' he heard, it was prepared, all set up. We _knew_ he would hear it, we even wanted him to! Well, Zabini did. If he'd just looked, one quick glance, he would've seen a wand pointing at my throat making me say things I normally would refuse to say.

Stupid ego. Stupid Malfoy pride. When I wanted to stop it there was no turning back. Too late. They're right, I am acting pathetic. Quite uncharacteristic for a Malfoy.

Sensed the sarcasm and bitterness there? Yes? Good.

Sigh. I hate myself. Seriously. He acted like an ass to me but I paid him back tenfold, while he didn't even deserve it. It's not that I really minded when I threw him on the table, that were my perverted mind and traitorous body speaking. If we would've been alone… Say bye-bye to your virginity Harry! Not that I didn't took it later…

And then I just had to ruin it all, give it all up… 'For the bet', hell! I'd needed all my courage to walk into his dorm and wake him, but I needed… I just felt like I needed to _talk_ to him. Not shout, or argue, or embarrass, or fight, or anything like that… Just talk. Hear him out. I didn't mean that he would get information out of me though, which he did anyway. I just lost it. He made me lose all control somehow… The Ice Prince on fire.

I never meant to tell him I liked the kiss, that I wanted more… Because it was _Wrong_! We were enemies! Hell, we are both male! I still can't decide what's worse. We just shouldn't be together I guess.

Damn, I never felt this all about a girl before! What is happening?! I should hate him… But instead I love him to dead. Till death. Damn. All that inbreeding finally brought a nice pureblood freak into the world. Thanks mother, father.

Room of Requirement. Yes. Never thought it would ever be so helpful. So special. Because yeah, that's where our sweet little Draco got de-virgined. Is that even a word?

Just a small replay: I _kissed_ potter. I _held _Potter. I _talked _with Potter. I _screwed_ Potter. And then suddenly Potter became Harry. Just as I changed from Malfoy to Draco for him.

Merlin, what happened?! Why did I ruin it?! How?!

Oh yeah, I remember again… How could I've forgotten. Malfoy pride in combination with a ridiculous bet and a psycho Blaise Zabini is _not_ good. Should've known. Not that it wasn't obvious or something.

And now I blew it. After the whole talk thing… For the first time I felt something as regret. The way he makes me feel so much new things is just… Bizarre. I just felt… bad for betraying him this way. First fucking him into the bed and the next morning hurting him by letting him overhear a conversation not quite meant to be heard by feeble ears. Inhuman, even for a Slytherin. Disgusting, even for a Malfoy.

But he wouldn't listen. I tried to explain, I did… I even tried calling him Harry in a hope to catch him off guard! But he just wouldn't listen. That annoying bushy know-it-all and the Weasel weren't helping either.

For Salazar's sake, I don't even know why I'm getting myself into this trouble anyway! Why am I even still trying? He rejected me 'cause I was an ass and I know that and even admit it so why do I still care?! I never cared before! I never cared about either him, his words, his acts or whatever till that day… Until today. It seems like ages ago already… But it's only a few hours.

I never cared about his tears until I saw them. I never cared about the Golden-Boy-Who-lived until I saw Harry Potter. I never cared about his words until I could finally hear them.

'"I love you."'

Every time I hear his voice in my head and the pain refuses to leave…

"Merlin, I hate myself so much!"

I want to stop thinking about it, but it keeps echoing through my head, all the time, never stopping. It won't leave me alone… I feel guilt. Damn, who could've thought I had something resembling a conscience?!

I keep reminding myself the whole time by thinking about it, about him… Those words awakened something, something I believed was dead, gone forever. But he'd made me feel so alive… I… don't understand.

I'm afraid. I'm not a Slytherin for nothing, I may be smart and cunning but bravery isn't one of our traits… I'm not a bloody Gryffindork like _him_. I'm afraid for what happens to me. It's all so new… I don't know what to expect, how to prepare. I hate it to feel so helpless. Like I lost all control over my own life, body, feelings, thoughts, actions, words…

I'm afraid to fall. And at the same moment I realise I've already fallen. Hard and quick, with nothing to hold on to. Hopeless like a little kid, a plaything in the cruel hands of fate, being thrown around like I'm nothing. Just a useless little shit between all the other little shits. Quite ironic.

It all feels like a game, which I'm playing and also losing. And when I lose… I lose my life. I lose him. I'll try everything in my power to win, win him back. So that I can talk to him, explain it all, let him know I care…

No, I don't care. Malfoys don't care. They don't even feel. They're blind, deaf and mute for everything outside their own little world. Keep telling yourself that Draco, keep repeating. Just keep believing, then you'll be fine. Keep hanging on, you've been through more rough times! You can handle this!

Right?

A real Malfoy can.

And a real Malfoy always gets what he wants.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A/N: I'm finally realising what the title meant… It's not about our little pathetic Harry, but about our even more pathetic poor Draco… Excuse me for my choice of words. Haven't really got things planned out for next chapter though. I only know that there are so many things still left unsaid… Draco cutie, you got A LOT of trouble hanging above your pretty platinum blond head…

Thanks to all my reviewers on chapter 5 for the 'plz continues: fishnetfairy, genocide-bloodshed, Gryffindorgrl86 (thnx for the ideas!), BlahnessMucho, Alora, mrs.felton (he does, trust me!), yamisbabybird, darkmoon56, Mara202 (I AM evil /snickers/ hehe), Ale, Rag-Doll-Chey. /group hug/ And Kylia Nahimana: I wrote it with this fic in mind :P thank you! /bows/

**One question: is it Griffindor or Gryffindor? I always wrote the first… /sweatdrop/ But I see the second way too much… -.-; Anyone knows?**

**Comment and Critic pll! And please don't give up on this fic! I promise there WILL be updates!**


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